<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Introduction to Coping by spinning_out</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521293">Introduction to Coping</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinning_out/pseuds/spinning_out'>spinning_out</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s05e04 Cooperative Polygraphy, Pre-Episode: s05e05 Geothermal Escapism, can be read as romantic or platonic, this is quite sad i’m so sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:55:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinning_out/pseuds/spinning_out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy, his best friend, had agreed to leave and sail around the world. By himself. Without Abed.</p><p>Abed tries to process Troy leaving, even when he hasn’t left yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Troy Barnes &amp; Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Introduction to Coping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>woohoo! my first community fic! we’re starting this off... sad</p><p>fun fact: i got this idea in a dream last week, and made sure to write it down the second i woke up </p><p>rewatched geothermal escapism with one of my friends the other day (her first time seeing it, sorry abbi), so the angst was fresh in my mind</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apartment 303 didn’t feel the same. The study group sat around the dining room table, just like they had done countless other times. Annie had actually cooked dinner that night, which was another thing that wasn’t out of the blue. They had gotten back from drinks with Mr. Stone, which was an experience most of them would’ve rather forgotten. Pierce’s polygraph test came with more surprises than one. </p><p>The atmosphere felt heavier though, all of them trying to keep the mood light. But there were still solemn, unspoken words that hung in the air. It was clear how much they didn’t want to talk about Troy leaving, but the conversation wouldn’t be avoided forever. </p><p>Abed sat quietly, slowly picking at his bowl of buttered noodles. Annie had cooked for everyone else, some dish that Abed hadn’t paid enough attention to to know what it was. All he wanted was noodles, something familiar to balance all that felt like it was going wrong. </p><p>Time passed by quickly, Shirley leaving first to take care of her kids at home. Abed only vaguely remembered her saying goodbye, because it was getting harder for him to focus on anything other than Troy. </p><p> </p><p>Troy, his best friend, had agreed to leave and sail around the world. By himself. Without Abed.</p><p>Abed couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting Troy to leave eventually, most people never stayed with him for too long. But Troy understood Abed better than anyone ever did, and even the things he didn’t get, he made an effort to try. What they had was special, they were Troy-and-Abed, partners in crime, the Inspector and his Constable. Troy was Abed’s first friend, the first person who didn’t think Abed was weird, or different, or broken. </p><p>That’s what made his departure even harder, and he hadn’t even gone anywhere yet. </p><p> </p><p>Abed remained seated at the table, even though the rest of them had gotten up. Jeff and Britta were in the kitchen, after having offered to clean the dishes from dinner. Annie was in her room, and Troy was taking a shower. </p><p>Abed couldn’t stand, he kept his eyes fixated on the floor, where it looked like it was burning. A small patch of lava grew hotter, spreading very slowly into other spots of the apartment. Abed didn’t know how to communicate what he was seeing, aware that nobody else could see it. Even if his voice had been working, there was no way for him to speak up without sounding crazy. He <em>was</em> crazy. </p><p>Abed only looked up when he heard footsteps approaching, and Britta kneeled down next to him. There was lava right by her left foot, which she would’ve stepped in if she wasn’t careful.<br/>
“Hey, Abed.” Britta said softly. “How are you doing?”<br/>
Abed offered her a smile, a fake one, but he had practiced it enough that it looked real. He still couldn’t talk, the words would just catch in his throat.<br/>
She put a hand on his arm, and Abed flinched at the sudden touch. He couldn’t handle the feeling of it on his skin. Britta pulled her hand away, and Abed scooted his chair over slightly. </p><p>“Do you want me to take your bowl?” Britta asked, gesturing to the half-eaten noodles that sat in front of Abed.<br/>
He nodded.<br/>
When she stood, she stepped directly in the lava, and Abed fought back a panicked yelp. He wouldn’t have been able to explain why he made the noise, so he bit his tongue to keep quiet. </p><p>Abed stayed seated for the next few minutes, nervously glancing as the lava danced across the floor. Nobody else would ever see it though. Abed was fighting this battle alone. </p><p>The sound of a chair moving broke him away from his thoughts. Britta was sitting next to him again, but Abed didn’t meet her eyes. He could tell she was giving him a sympathetic look, ready to therapize him at any moment. </p><p>Without a word, he abruptly stood and stalked away. Abed shut the makeshift doors of the blanket fort, sitting on the floor by the dresser. He tucked his knees up to his chest, crossing his arms over his head in a protective position. Abed could hear Jeff and Britta’s hushed conversations in the kitchen.</p><p>“Are you not worried about him?” Britta whispered.<br/>
“Relax,” Jeff returned. “I think it’s best to give him some space.”<br/>
Jeff was speaking loud enough that Abed could hear him using his “pretending-not-to-care” voice, which usually meant he was, in fact, worried. </p><p>“I don’t want him to have another episode, like Christmas a few years ago. It isn’t healthy for him to bottle everything up. As a psych major-“ Britta said, before Jeff cut her off.<br/>
“Like I said, give him space. This is hard on all of us, but it might take a little longer for Abed to cope with Troy leaving.”</p><p>“<em>Troy leaving</em>” were the only words replaying in Abed’s mind. He didn’t believe it. He didn’t <em>want</em> to believe it. All he wanted was for Troy to stay, and for the lava to disappear. But Abed was crazy, and he was selfish, and he couldn’t handle the thought of being left alone. </p><p>Jeff and Britta’s conversation had stopped suddenly. Britta called for Annie, and Abed heard footsteps followed by a door shutting, presumably the one to Annie’s bedroom. Abed shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the dresser behind him. He fiddled with his fingers, picking at his nails just to focus on something else. Jeff was right, when he said that Abed needed space. The only person he wanted with him was Troy, who Abed <em>always</em> wanted around. </p><p>The light in the room changed as the blanket fort opened. Abed didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was. </p><p>“Abed?” Annie spoke in a soothing voice. “I’m just coming in to check on you.”<br/>
“I’m fine.” Abed stated, gently pressing his knuckles into the palm of his other hand.<br/>
Annie didn’t ask which spelling of “fine,” because only Troy understood that code, and Abed wouldn’t have been able to explain it right now.</p><p>He opened his eyes when she sat down next to him.<br/>
“Touch or no touch?” Annie asked.<br/>
Abed hesitated, but he held out his hand for Annie to hold onto. That was as much contact as he wanted. Annie squeezed his hand gently, Abed squeezing back. She didn’t speak for a little while, but never left Abed’s side. </p><p>“I’m gonna miss him, too.” Annie said after a few minutes.<br/>
Abed began to rock gently back and forth. “He’s leaving, Annie. Troy’s leaving us.”<br/>
Abed shut his eyes again and shook his head, repeating “Troy’s leaving” quietly to himself. Without even looking, Abed could tell that Annie was trying not to cry. He squeezed her hand, both to ground her, and himself. </p><p>Abed swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. “Can I be alone for just a little while longer?”<br/>
“Of course,” Annie said understandingly. “Let me know if you need anything.”<br/>
Abed nodded, and she planted a kiss to his cheek before leaving. When Abed opened one eye to peek at the rest of the room, he could see lava just outside of the blanket fort. It would catch up to him soon, and he didn’t want to find out what would happen if it did. </p><p> </p><p>Abed didn’t know how much time had passed, but he was still sitting alone on the floor of the blanket fort, eyes shut tight. There were muffled voices from the apartment that died down after a few minutes. A door opened, then closed. It sounded farther away, so it must have been the front door. Then another door closed, which was Annie’s. </p><p>The apartment was quiet, though Abed could still pick up the faint sizzle of the lava in the back of his mind. Abed opened his eyes in time to see a figure standing in the entrance of the blanket fort. It was Troy. Abed almost wanted to fold in on himself at the sight of him. He couldn’t even fathom how much he would miss Troy. </p><p>“Hey, buddy.” Troy said, his voice just above a whisper. “Jeff and Britta went home, and Annie’s in her room, so it’s just us now.”<br/>
Abed nodded and tried to smile, but it only weakly flashed across his lips.<br/>
Troy approached Abed, bending down in front of Abed’s tucked knees. “What’s going on?”<br/>
“Can we go into your room?” Abed requested, his voice hoarse from going so long without speaking.<br/>
“Yeah, yeah of course.”<br/>
Troy stood back up, and Abed followed suit. He reached out his hand towards Troy, who smiled softly and intertwined their fingers. </p><p><em>You won’t be able to hold his hand once he’s gone.</em> Abed thought, which only made him tighten his grip. Troy led them through the apartment, and although it was a small distance, Abed couldn’t let go of Troy’s hand. </p><p>Troy closed the bedroom door behind them, and Abed was relieved to see there was no lava. The blanket fort had already started to burn up, which was another reason why Abed wanted to be in Troy’s room. Troy’s room was safe. <em>Troy</em> was safe. </p><p>Abed released Troy’s hand, flexing his fingers gently. He stood in the middle of the room, and couldn’t stop himself from pacing. His thoughts were pounding against his head, and no matter what he did, they wouldn’t leave. </p><p>
  <em>The lava won’t go away unless he stays. But he isn’t staying. He’s leaving, and maybe he won’t want to come back. Did you really expect him to stay with you forever? Nobody ever does, even when they promise to. You know the lava isn’t real, but you want to keep him here. Keep him for yourself. You’re just selfish. You’re crazy. You’re-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Abed let out a high-pitched whine from the back of his throat, his hands were tangled in his hair, occasionally tugging at strands. Troy quickly dimmed the lights, leaving just a nightlight in the corner to illuminate the room.<br/>
“Can I touch you?” Troy asked, carefully approaching Abed.<br/>
Abed couldn’t get the whining noise to stop in time to answer, and he felt his legs go weak. Troy caught him before he hit the ground, gently sitting them down on the floor against the wall. Abed clung to the front of Troy’s shirt, tucking his head into the crook of Troy’s neck as Troy wrapped an arm around Abed’s side. </p><p>“Shh, it’s okay,” Troy hushed, carding his fingers through Abed’s hair, rocking them both back and forth. “I’ve got you, you’re okay.”<br/>
Troy softly repeated the words of reassurance until Abed quieted down. Even afterwards, they remained seated, pressed together, Abed underneath Troy’s arm. Troy rubbed circles into Abed’s back, his whining changing into shaky breaths. </p><p>“Are you okay to stand up now, bud?” Troy asked.<br/>
Abed nodded, and moved so Troy could stand first. He reached down and pulled Abed up with him. They walked over to Troy’s bed, Abed sitting on the end of it.<br/>
“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna turn the light back on, okay?” Troy told him, and Abed just nodded again. </p><p>Troy came back in a few seconds later, holding Abed’s green spaceship pajamas and a glass of water. He handed Abed the glass, who drank most of it and put it on the bedside table. Abed felt worn down, and he was thankful to have Troy right by his side. That only led him down a further spiral of accepting that Troy was leaving, and he wouldn’t be around to help Abed through a meltdown.<br/>
Troy tugged on the sleeve of Abed’s t-shirt, bringing him back to the moment. Abed pulled his shirt over his head, giving it to Troy, who handed off Abed’s pajama top in return. Abed did the same with his jeans, and Troy neatly folded them on the chair in his room. </p><p>This wasn’t the first time Troy had done this for Abed, assisting him when even changing out of his clothes felt like too much. Abed had gotten better at handling things on his own over the years, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to actually have to. Of course, he would still have Annie, and Jeff, and the rest of the study group. But as much as he hated to say it, they weren’t Troy. They didn’t understand him as well as Troy always was able to. Abed knew that Troy wasn’t leaving forever, but there were so many unforeseen circumstances. </p><p>Abed wouldn’t let himself run through the actual simulations, but there was always a chance of Troy finding something better. The world was a big place, and not everyone wants to stay in the same spot forever. Or Troy and Abed would drift apart, physically and metaphorically, so Troy coming back wouldn’t be as monumental. The ocean was brutal, and this was really the last thing Abed wanted to think about, but what if something happened to Troy? What if his ship went down, or he got held captive, or something even worse? </p><p>Abed could’ve cried at the thought of Troy getting lost at sea. When he felt a water droplet hit his hand, he realized that he <em>was</em> crying. Abed quickly wiped the tears off of his cheeks, laying down on Troy’s bed. He rolled onto his side, feeling the shift of weight as Troy crawled into the bed next to him. They were facing each other, Troy’s back to the wall, Abed’s back to the rest of the room. </p><p>“Can I touch you?” Troy asked again, letting his hand hover over Abed’s side.<br/>
“Please.” Abed croaked.<br/>
Troy, who was now wearing his orange and blue pajamas, quickly wrapped his arms around Abed’s waist, keeping a firm hand against his back. Abed buried his face in Troy’s chest, starting to shake. </p><p>Most people thought that Abed operated like a robot, emotionless and analytical. For the most part, that was accurate. He often looked at things through a meta lens, and he couldn’t help that he was observational. To say that Abed didn’t feel emotion though; would be lying. He felt so much, so often. He had just never expressed them like everyone else did. Needless to say, Abed rarely cried, so he didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop crying now.</p><p>Troy only held Abed tighter, rubbing his back and letting Abed get everything out. Abed felt bad for being so dependent on Troy, and for the fact that he was starting to soak the front of his pajama shirt. He kept reminding himself that Troy wouldn’t be able to comfort him like this once he left on this trip, and tried to compose himself on his own. Troy never questioned Abed, just holding him close until his crying subsided. The shaking stopped, the sniffling stopped, and Troy and Abed just layed in silence. </p><p>Troy continued to run his fingers along Abed’s spine, hearing his breathing even out.<br/>
“Are you sleeping?” Troy whispered.<br/>
Abed almost pretended he was, but he never liked lying to Troy. “No, I don’t want to go to sleep.”<br/>
“Why not?”<br/>
Abed didn’t answer.<br/>
“Are you okay?”<br/>
“I’m fine.”<br/>
“F-I-N-E or F-Y-N-E?”<br/>
“F-I-N-E.” Abed answered, which meant that he wasn’t really fine.<br/>
“You can always tell me what’s wrong,” Troy offered. “Or we can stay laying here.”<br/>
“You have to leave tomorrow, and I don’t want to sleep because I don’t think I’m ready for it to be tomorrow yet.”</p><p>“If I’m being honest,” Abed continued. “I’m scared about you leaving. I want you to stay, and I feel terrible about it. This is a chance of a lifetime for you, and I’m selfish for feeling like it just shouldn’t happen.”<br/>
“You’re not selfish.”<br/>
Abed sat up, detangling himself from Troy’s arms. “But I am, Troy. My feelings are just gonna get in the way of this.”<br/>
Troy opened his mouth to speak again, but Abed kept rambling. “I <em>want</em> to be able to let you go, and I already know I have to soon enough. You need to go on this trip, for the sake of your character arc. It’ll help you discover yourself, and it’ll help me learn how to cope with being on my own.”</p><p>Abed brought his knees to his chest, glancing over as Troy sat up next to him.<br/>
“I’m really nervous about leaving, too.” Troy confessed. “I’ve never done anything like this before, but like, I feel like it might end up being what’s right, or something.”<br/>
Abed nodded silently.<br/>
“We have a whole day to spend together tomorrow, so at least we don’t have to say goodbye yet.”<br/>
“No, not yet.” Abed said out loud, more to himself than to Troy.<br/>
Troy didn’t say anything for a few minutes.</p><p>“I won’t be gone forever, you know.” Troy reminded Abed quietly.<br/>
“But, but what if you find something better than this out there?” Abed raised. “Or you discover that a part becoming your own person, is that you don’t need me anymore? Or you find a new place to call home?”<br/>
“Abed, I wouldn’t do that to you.”<br/>
“How do you know?”<br/>
“You’re my best friend, and it wouldn’t feel like home if you weren’t with me. I will always, <em>always</em> come back to you.”</p><p>Abed swallowed, looking at Troy. “Friends don’t lie to each other.”<br/>
Troy looked into Abed’s eyes. “I’m not lying.”</p><p>Troy put a hand against Abed’s face, brushing the pad of his thumb across Abed’s cheekbone. Abed couldn’t help but fling himself around Troy’s shoulders. Troy looped his arms around Abed’s back, holding him close once again. The hug was a little awkward because of how they were sitting, but Abed thought that it still felt familiar, it felt safe. </p><p>“I’m gonna miss you so much, Troy.” Abed whispered.<br/>
“I’ll miss you too, buddy.”</p><p>Troy pulled away from the embrace, laying down on his back. He adjusted, allowing a space for Abed to curl up next to him. Abed laid down on his stomach and tucked himself under Troy’s arm again, sprawling out across his torso. Abed kept his head against Troy’s chest, his arm wrapping around his waist, and his leg slotting in between both of Troy’s. It was a position they were used to being in, usually when Troy woke up from a nightmare and needed Abed close to him. </p><p>They often fell asleep together on the bunk bed, when they stayed up late watching Inspector Spacetime on Abed’s computer, and Troy was always the first to fall asleep. This time, Abed thought that he would be instead. </p><p> </p><p>Abed grew more and more tired the longer he laid with Troy, but he tried hard to keep himself awake. He turned to look over his shoulder, noticing a bright light from right outside Troy’s door. He had forgotten about the lava, but watched as it crept into the room he thought he would’ve stayed safe in. Abed squeezed his eyes shut, balling a fist in the softness of Troy’s shirt and squeezing his waist tighter. </p><p>Abed yawned, though he still didn’t want to admit how exhausted he was. He was half-asleep when Troy spoke up one more time. </p><p>“Abed?”<br/>
“Hm?”<br/>
“I love you.”<br/>
“I know.” A beat. “I love you too.”</p><p>Abed focused in on Troy’s heartbeat, and the rise and fall of his chest. Abed eventually matched his breathing, struggling to stay awake. The feeling of Troy underneath his body, and Troy’s hand once again running along his back, and even just Troy’s whole presence, made him feel at ease. </p><p>Troy began to softly hum <em>Somewhere Out There,</em> and Abed smiled, right as he drifted to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i just gotta keep reminding myself that they’re happily living together in LA </p><p>hope you enjoyed, comments/kudos are very greatly appreciated &lt;3</p><p>#sixseasonsandamovie</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>